One ICE down two to go . . . . . .

Let's talk about the chemotherapy -  ICE - Is what I am receiving for the next three months. ICE is the first step in preparing my body for an autologous (receiving my own cells) stem cell transplant in the summer. I am on my third day home from the hospital and still feeling sick. ABVD made me sick but not like this. I feel awful all over, that really blah awful, you can't get comfortable, you don't sleep well, even with medication, kind of awful. 

But back to my original statement in this post. "Let's talk about the chemotherapy." Not a very good subject but one that I can seem to never stop thinking about. Three days in the hospital go something like this:

On day 1  I get a one-hour infusion of etoposide. This wonderful drug causes your blood pressure to drop severely. I was monitored every hour after receiving.

On day 2  I get another one-hour infusion of etoposide and a one-hour infusion of carboplatin. Carboplatin actually stops the growth of cancer cells and causes them to die.  This drug is very harmful for your kidneys and bladder therefore I am also given 15 minutes of a drug called mesna to help protect them, followed by a 24-hour infusion of ifosfamide, another dangerous kidney and bladder durg, and mesna.

And finally on day 3 another one-hour infusion of etoposide. And, when the 24-hour infusion of ifosfamide and mesna from day 2 has finished, I am given a 12-hour infusion of mesna.

I receive mesna three times during all of this. Damn, that carboplatin and ifosfamide are some serious shit.

Three days in the hospital, OMG the food . . . . wait . . . .  I don't know if you can really call what I received food? Thank goodness for carton milk and packaged cereal. And now just the thought of food makes me ill. I am hungry and everything tastes like crap. Even water tastes gross. Yesterday, I had fresh picked cauliflower from our garden. I LOVE Cauliflower but not yesterday.  And a little not so little secret of mine, I use cannabis to help with nausea and all over pain. Well, not even the cannabis is helping food taste good. The frustration of having a refrigerate, freezer and pantry full of all things eatable and nothing tastes good.  AAARRRGGGHHHH!!!  So another sip of water, because it is required, another bite of whatever bland object is still sitting on my plate, because I must not fade away and to end this late night babble. . . . Remember I warned you that this may at times be a lot of blah blah blah.  I just reviewed Days 1-3 . . . .  This is some serious shit.