Let's Start with Chemo-Brain

Chemo-Brain
The American Cancer Society describes chemo brain as a mental fog; many doctors describe it as chemotherapy-induced cognitive dysfunction/impairment or cancer-therapy associated cognitive change. 

Cognition
... is the set of all mental abilities and processes related to knowledge: attention, memory & working memory, judgement & evaluation, reasoning & "computation", problem solving & decision making, comprehension & production of language. Cognition is by humans conscious and unconscious, concrete or abstract, as well as intuitive (like knowledge of a language) and conceptual (like a model of a language).

For me it feels like I have lost days or hours and can't remember sometimes details of the day before. I start a project and can be distracted easily just by walking into the house and seeing that something else needs to be done. I forget to turn off the garden water often. This leaves the back yard flooded. My excuse - The plants needed a deep feed. ;)~  Words, I can think of a word in my head but have a hard time making my voice create that word into sound.

I have a very patient and understanding husband. He repeats stories for me and we joke about my forgetfulness. I sometimes ask the same question over again. I start many conversations with "I'm sorry if I have already told you this." or "I'm sorry I forgot to tell you ......."  This is all a very frustrating process.

How about a better subject?  Last Friday my son and I took a day trip to Yosemite. We love to hike and the challenge of the experience. So......crazy me wanted to hike to the Upper Falls. This is a 3.5 mile hike with an incline of over 2000 ft. Let's add the temperature was over 90 degrees as we began our early afternoon adventure.

 Needless to say my chemo filled body would only allow me to make it half way. I was very frustrated and had a little bit of a temper tantrum when my son convinced me it was time to turn around. I am very stubborn. We quickly descended and easily walked over to the Lower Falls. 
 

The water level is very low this year (CA in a BIG drought) and we easily climbed over the large boulders to the bottom of the falls. The water is very cold but Cris still accepted the challenge of swimming across to get a picture directly under the falls. 
He has done this before during a camping trip we took with friends many years ago. Afterward, we had to take the most difficult route back to the trail. That is just the way we are, pushing the line to see what we can do.

Our adventure Friday was strenuous but left me with that sore all over feel good kind of sore. Makes me feel alive during this "little bump in the road we call life"

Chemo Day - YUCK

Today is Chemo Day - YUCK

This morning I was reviewing my emails and one made me smile. A dear friend had been trying to call me and had my wrong cell number. I immediately called him, because he ALWAYS cheers me up and we have such great conversations.We both love to garden, the outdoors and he has such a great outlook on life in general. We are a lot alike in how to face problems. We talked about all of the good things that are going on while I am in treatment. Yes, I have several days of feeling very ill, but all in all I feel pretty good the majority of the time.

I like to have Chemo on Monday and here is why. Chemo Monday is the beginning of my work week, who likes Monday's? Not many. Then comes Tuesday and you are still recovering from the beginning of the week. When Wednesday rolls around you have reached hump day and are on the downhill side. Thursday you see the light at the end of the weekly tunnel as you are approaching TGIF. Then you have your weekend to enjoy again.

Today is actually Tuesday. I had to push my chemo out a week due to very low blood counts again. I saw my Onc yesterday and I will begin to take Filgrastim to boost my cell regeneration. This is a shot I give myself the following week of chemo for five days. Cheers to being back on a consecutive schedule. And boo to having to take more meds. Sometimes the body becomes so beat up it needs additional assistance.

This morning is not too hot yet, so I am off for a good run/walk before my chemo. My daughter will be here early so we can go for a nice lunch before my appointment. Stay tuned for more updates.

Remember: This is a little bump in the road we call life. Eat right and keep moving. Your body will thank you.

Shaving my head and . . . . another postponed treatment

I spent the week of July 4th in Utah visiting my daughter, grandson and sisters. What an exhausting trip. My son Cris and I took the train from Sacramento to Salt Lake City. About a 14hour ride that was very uneventful. The train is relaxing but you do need a good supply of reading material or DVD's to watch. No WiFi during your ride.

This past week made me remember how important family is. It is sad that we so often take each other for granted as we travel through our daily routines. Family is there when we need them and sometimes when we don't want them to be. Time passes quickly and one day you have cancer (or some other eye opener), you suddenly are forced to slow down and really remember what is important.

I completely enjoyed spending time with my sisters last week. Recanting our childhood memories is always enjoyable. Our childhood was HORRIBLE but we always had one other and made good of what very little we had.

My nieces have all grown up and each can tell me about how much fun they had with their “Aunt D”. I wish I had been there more. Each have grown into such wonderful young ladies; so different from each other. Just like sisters and cousins should be.

Two of my beautiful nieces

We had a BBQ to celebrate life and shave my head. I was completely done with the constant hair loss. What a mess. This bald head is much easier than the stringy mess I had begun to hide. We all bonded over tears as my son shaved my head and again as we made keepsake lockets from my hair.

Yesterday, I enjoyed the cool morning on my patio. It supplied me with a relaxing place to enjoy coffee, read the paper and capture my thoughts about the past week. I had been a little melancholy with the anticipation of chemo today, so relaxing was a good item to have on the list. Robert was golfing with his friends and I would meet up with them later for some tapas at a beer garden in Sacramento.

I received a call this morning advising me that my blood counts were once again too low to have chemo. In addition to my white count being too low, I now have a low red blood cell counts.  I tire very easily and naps have become a normal daily routine. My body does not seem to recover quickly in the two week time span between treatments. Chemo is rescheduled for next Monday and I will be discussing options to boost my recovery rate. There are a couple different shots I can have that will help cell growth. Not looking forward to the possibility of having to take this route. The side effects are bone and muscle pain, something I am already dealing with. 

REMINDER: This is just a bump in the road of life and all will be well very soon.