Hair Loss...... and some other babble.

Hair Loss? I don't even know where to begin. I am shedding like a dog in spring. My hair is everywhere and I mean everywhere. The worst is when I take a shower, the drain is filled with copious amounts of hair to be followed by my brush filled with hair. We purchased a wig and it looks good, but I feel so fake wearing it. I think I like the scarf look better.

Brytnee surprised and shocked me by shaving her head. She can't be right here with me so going bald is her show of support. She rocks the look and is so beautiful. By this coming weekend I will most likely be shaving what is left of my hair off. The mess is just not worth letting it all fall out on it's own. My feelings change often on this subject. It cannot be stopped, so it is time to just deal with it. The dreaded "cancer patient" look has begun. UGH

Today is Shandee's turn to attend my chemo treatment. My first born has become the mother I couldn't be. She would tell you her childhood was awesome and I will agree. But she is the "stay at home" mother I wasn't able to be. I loved it when my children were little, we had loads of fun. Lots of soccer, lots of camping. lots of crazy times. Our weekends were filled with soccer in every corner of California and sometimes beyond. Trying to schedule that not long enough vacation in between our ever so busy lives. I worried too much about a clean house, an orderly schedule and fitting in that one more thing to get done. I had to be like this to survive work, family and life. Now they are grown and I wonder how the hell I did what we did. You do what you have to do and it feels normal while you are in the middle of juggling multiple lives.

I now have a new normal called Hodgkin Lymphoma and this will never feel normal, but I still do what I have to do to get it done. Time will pass quickly . . . . . most times it will feel slow. In the end we will look back and say "Wow, what a crazy ride". Time for a new adventure.