Hair Loss...... and some other babble.

Hair Loss? I don't even know where to begin. I am shedding like a dog in spring. My hair is everywhere and I mean everywhere. The worst is when I take a shower, the drain is filled with copious amounts of hair to be followed by my brush filled with hair. We purchased a wig and it looks good, but I feel so fake wearing it. I think I like the scarf look better.

Brytnee surprised and shocked me by shaving her head. She can't be right here with me so going bald is her show of support. She rocks the look and is so beautiful. By this coming weekend I will most likely be shaving what is left of my hair off. The mess is just not worth letting it all fall out on it's own. My feelings change often on this subject. It cannot be stopped, so it is time to just deal with it. The dreaded "cancer patient" look has begun. UGH

Today is Shandee's turn to attend my chemo treatment. My first born has become the mother I couldn't be. She would tell you her childhood was awesome and I will agree. But she is the "stay at home" mother I wasn't able to be. I loved it when my children were little, we had loads of fun. Lots of soccer, lots of camping. lots of crazy times. Our weekends were filled with soccer in every corner of California and sometimes beyond. Trying to schedule that not long enough vacation in between our ever so busy lives. I worried too much about a clean house, an orderly schedule and fitting in that one more thing to get done. I had to be like this to survive work, family and life. Now they are grown and I wonder how the hell I did what we did. You do what you have to do and it feels normal while you are in the middle of juggling multiple lives.

I now have a new normal called Hodgkin Lymphoma and this will never feel normal, but I still do what I have to do to get it done. Time will pass quickly . . . . . most times it will feel slow. In the end we will look back and say "Wow, what a crazy ride". Time for a new adventure.

2nd Chemo postponed :(

Second Chemo treatment has been postponed a week. My white cell count is too low to risk another round of poison at this time. This also means my trip to Utah is postponed by a week. Very frustrating.  Yesterday I actually began to lose my hair. By the time I finished showering and getting ready for the rest of the day, I had accumulated a large pile of lost hair. I had to vacuum the bathroom to clean up what made it to the floor. I don't look silly from hair loss yet, but it certainly is thin. I anticipate I will have lost a significant amount by the time I travel to Utah. Brytnee and I will be making a trip to the wig shop and explore the many different styles I can come home with. The hair loss is what I dread the most.

I have listed below my current test results and what each test reflects. It certainly has helped me understand what is going on in my body after the first round of poison. Although my counts are currently too low, my white bloods cells are fighting like they should and are in recovery. Next Monday I should be back within a good range.

	5/28/2014	6/14/2014
ANC - Absolute neutrophil count	9.1	0.7
2.1 - 7.7 K/uL
BASO'S - Basophils are a type of white blood cell (WBC)	0	3
0 - 1 %
EOS - Eosinophil are a type of WBC	1	8
0 - 4 %
Lymphocytes - a type of WBC	11	49
13 - 46 %
Monocytes - a type of WBC	5	8
4 - 12 %
NEUTROPHILS - the soldier WBC	83	33
41 - 81 %

Absolute neutrophil count: The real number of white blood cells (WBCs) that are neutrophils. The absolute neutrophil count is commonly called the ANC. The ANC is not measured directly. It is derived by multiplying the WBC count times the percent of neutrophils in the differential WBC count. The percent of neutrophils consists of the segmented (fully mature) neutrophils) + the bands (almost mature neutrophils). The normal range for the ANC = 1.5 to 8.0 (1,500 to 8,000/mm3).

Basophils are a type of white blood cell. These cells are extremely rare, making up less than one percent of the white blood cells in the body at any given time. Basophils originate in the bone marrow, where they are created by stem cells. They circulate throughout the body in the blood stream, with the ability to pass into various tissues as needed. When an infectious agent is detected by the immune system, basophils respond, along with numerous other types of white blood cells. Researchers believe that in addition to helping at the site of an infection, these cells also help the body develop immunities by storing information which can be used by the T cells. Normal basophil counts can vary, depending on the patient and the situation. In a healthy person, the count is typically very low. In someone with an active infection or allergic response, the number of basophils in the blood can climb, betraying the presence of an infection.

Lymphocytes: A small white blood cell (leukocyte) that plays a large role in defending the body against disease. Lymphocytes are responsible for immune responses. There are two main types of lymphocytes: B cells and T cells. The B cells make antibodies that attack bacteria and toxins while the T cells attack body cells themselves when they have been taken over by viruses or have become cancerous. Lymphocytes secrete products (lymphokines) that modulate the functional activities of many other types of cells and are often present at sites of chronic inflammation. 

Monocytes help other white blood cells remove dead or damaged tissues, destroy cancer cells, and regulate immunity against foreign substances. Monocytes are produced in the bone marrow and then enter the bloodstream, where they account for about 1 to 10% of the circulating leukocytes (200 to 600 monocytes per microliter of blood). After a few hours in the bloodstream, they migrate to tissues (such as spleen, liver, lungs, and bone marrow tissue), where they mature into macrophages, the main scavenger cells of the immune system.

Neutrophils are the most common type of white blood cell, comprising about 50-70% of all white blood cells. They are phagocytic, meaning that they can ingest other cells, though they do not survive the act. Neutrophils are the first immune cells to arrive at a site of infection, through a process known as chemotaxis.

Though neutrophils are short lived, with a half-life of four to ten hours when not activated and immediate death upon ingesting a pathogen, they are plentiful and responsible for the bulk of an immune response. They are the main component of pus and responsible for its whitish color. Neutrophils are present in the bloodstream until signaled to a site of infection by chemical cues in the body. They are fast acting, arriving at the site of infection within an hour.

This is my Complete Blood Count - CBC

	5/28/2014	6/14/2014
HCT - Hematocrit	38.4	33.9
34.0 - 46.0 %
HGB - Hemoglobin	12.2	11.1
11.0 - 15.0 g/dL
MCV -mean cell volume	91	89
80 - 100 fL
PLT -Platelet count	534	482
140 - 400 K/uL
RBC'S	4.24	3.79
3.60 - 5.10 M/uL
RDW, RBC	15.2	14.6
12.0 - 16.5 %
WBC - white blood cell count	11	2.1
3.5 - 12.5 K/uL

White blood cell (WBC, leukocyte) count. White blood cells protect the body against infection. If an infection develops, white blood cells attack and destroy the bacteria, virus, or other organism causing it. White blood cells are bigger than red blood cells but fewer in number. When a person has a bacterial infection, the number of white cells rises very quickly. The number of white blood cells is sometimes used to find an infection or to see how the body is dealing with cancer treatment.

White blood cell types (WBC differential). The major types of white blood cells are neutrophils, lymphocytes, monocytes, eosinophils, and basophils. Immature neutrophils, called band neutrophils, are also part of this test. Each type of cell plays a different role in protecting the body. The numbers of each one of these types of white blood cells give important information about the immune system. Too many or too few of the different types of white blood cells can help find an infection, an allergic or toxic reaction to medicines or chemicals, and many conditions, such as leukemia.

Red blood cell (RBC) count. Red blood cells carry oxygen from the lungs to the rest of the body. They also carry carbon dioxide back to the lungs so it can be exhaled. If the RBC count is low (anemia), the body may not be getting the oxygen it needs. If the count is too high (a condition called polycythemia), there is a chance that the red blood cells will clump together and block tiny blood vessels (capillaries). This also makes it hard for your red blood cells to carry oxygen.

Hematocrit (HCT, packed cell volume, PCV). This test measures the amount of space (volume) red blood cells take up in the blood. The value is given as a percentage of red blood cells in a volume of blood. For example, a hematocrit of 38 means that 38% of the blood's volume is made of red blood cells. Hematocrit andhemoglobin values are the two major tests that show if anemia or polycythemia is present.

Hemoglobin (Hgb). The hemoglobin molecule fills up the red blood cells. It carries oxygen and gives the blood cell its red color. The hemoglobin test measures the amount of hemoglobin in blood and is a good measure of the blood's ability to carry oxygen throughout the body.

Red blood cell indices. There are three red blood cell indices: mean corpuscular volume (MCV), mean corpuscular hemoglobin (MCH), and mean corpuscular hemoglobin concentration (MCHC). They are measured by a machine, and their values come from other measurements in a CBC. The MCV shows the size of the red blood cells. The MCH value is the amount of hemoglobin in an average red blood cell. The MCHC measures the concentration of hemoglobin in an average red blood cell. These numbers help in the diagnosis of different types of anemia. Red cell distribution width (RDW) can also be measured which shows if the cells are all the same or different sizes or shapes.

Platelet (thrombocyte) count. Platelets (thrombocytes) are the smallest type of blood cell. They are important in blood clotting. When bleeding occurs, the platelets swell, clump together, and form a sticky plug that helps stop the bleeding. If there are too few platelets, uncontrolled bleeding may be a problem. If there are too many platelets, there is a chance of a blood clot forming in a blood vessel. Also, platelets may be involved in hardening of the arteries (atherosclerosis 

Mean platelet volume (MPV). Mean platelet volume measures the average amount (volume) of platelets. Mean platelet volume is used along with platelet count to diagnose some diseases. If the platelet count is normal, the mean platelet volume can still be too high or too low.

A little TMI. . . . . . I apologize in advance

I am in the middle of my off week and have been feeling good minus one very serious issue. I have had constipation for the past 3 1/2 days so severe I entertained the idea of going to the ER. The ER would not be able to do much, but WOW the pain has been horrible and nothing will take it away. Lots of OTC stool softeners, laxatives, suppositories and as much water as I can manage. Late yesterday I finally began to have no pain and this morning I feel great. Still no movement but at least little to no pain. I haven't been able to eat, everything tastes gross and makes my stomach hurt. UGH

Monday I went for a bike ride hoping the motion would help. It was getting way too hot for riding but I was able to get about 12.5 miles in before I felt completely drained. A nice nap afterward helped.

Tuesday, Shandee brought the grand babies and Cristopher came over for the day. I had to rest a lot but enjoyed having everyone around and watching them play and enjoy the water. Emma is in love with her playhouse and so are the boys. Robert took Shandee on a special sushi date and Cris got the rest of us pizza.

My very good friend Blythe came to visit on Wednesday afternoon. We have not seen each other for a couple of years. I sure do miss her and was glad to have a couple of hours to catch up. We have both been through a plethora of changes in the last five years and now we have much happier lives. Can's wait to see her again soon. I will be feeling worse next time, but always nice to have visits.

So, today. What to do today. Well, I'll take Kylee to the The Mud Mill for some fun ceramic painting. Lunch and shopping. Who knows what the rest of the day will bring.

2nd Chemo on Monday 6/16. I am sure I will have much to complain about after that one. 

Stay strong and positive ALWAYS. This is just a bump in the road of life. (A very big bump)

Today is a GOOD Day

 Today is a good day. Just a little queasy this morning and I have pretty good energy. Went for a run/walk late morning. I have a usual route I take from my home. It meanders through my neighborhood to the lake trail near my home. A round trip of just over five miles. I used to be able to run this route with ease, but am now happy to get about two miles of running completed and finish off with walking. Having the energy to move is the most important thing. The trail is very calming. If I go early in the morning it is not uncommon to see the herd of deer that live along the lake or wild turkey. 

I decided today to let my on line family and friends know about my diagnosis and give access to this crazy blog I will be keeping. I have never been a person that keeps a journal or diary and I have found that writing things down really relieves a lot of stress, anxiety, and the sometimes "why me" thoughts. So, those of you reading along be prepared for the occasional outburst. And if you know me well, you know that I am not a patient person and this roller coaster is going to test me beyond what I can imagine today.

Each day is a new day and those days I feel good I will run and ride my bike. I will enjoy the days as if everything is normal.

My husband is the most amazing man I have ever known. Well, he has to be given the difficult person I can be to live with. hahahaha But really he is. Generous, handsome, patient, unselfish, etc etc etc. It would be hard for me to go through this without someone like him. I thank him everyday for everything he does.

First Chemo Treatment

Well, yesterday was my first Chemo treatment. It was not as bad as I had anticipated. The nurses are great and I was there for less than three hours. I do not have a port or a picc line and hope I can do this entire process with out either.

I began to feel tired just as we were about home. AND then the nausea hit OMG I dislike that feeling more than anything. Zofran and Compazine became my good friends. I slept for most of the day and was able to eat a baked potato for dinner. The feeling of everything just feels wrong and blah never goes away.

It was nice to be able to sleep through the night. I woke up just as Robert was getting ready for work, about 3:30am needing more Zofran and was able to sleep for a few more hours.

All of a sudden everything smells different or stronger. Not in a bad way just more there. Strange. Another Compazine and soon I was able to enjoy coffee and oatmeal.

Shandee will be here soon. Cant wait to have her spending the day with me and crocheting should relax me.

Hope the rest of me day can remain status quo.