And So It Begins . . . . .

April 8th, that is the last time I updated my blog and so many things have happened since then.


On April 13th my amazing sister in law passed away. She had spent her life fighting juvenile onset rheumatoid arthritis. She had such courage and strength. When I am feeling like I want to give up or thinking about "why me" I remember how strong she was. Her endless strength is why I can keep going on.

So anyway, this crazy crazy process called an Autologous Stem Cell Transplant? Overwhelming doesn't begin to describe it. I am so very thankful to be having this done at one of the best facilities in the nation, Stanford University Cancer Center in Palo Alto CA. There is an entire team dedicated to just this process. Giving each patient five star care is an understatement. Every detail is planned and discussed as you  move through each step. Your calendar is filled with dates, times, medications and when to take them. When to clean you catheter, how to shower and how often,  when to eat and what to eat. As I review everything it is overwhelming, but then at the same time it's not. Every step is detailed for you. You know what to do when and how the next step is to take place. The worst part is the waiting. Waiting for your body to react to that one chemotherapy drug so you can get the next drug. Waiting for your labs to show your are ready for that following step. Then you are terrified of that step. The feeling sick, the schedule of medications, the boredom as your day seems to drag.  And all of this is just the beginning of my journey.

May 1, 2015 I had my first round of chemotherapy in preparation of my ASCT. This is done as an outpatient. We go back to the hotel and return the next day for additional IV fluids and then go home.

Six bags of different fluids

Besides all of my medications, my husband gives me two shots of Neupogen each morning to stimulate my marrow. We will do this for about 10 days until my labs reflect I have enough stem cells to be collected. This is called apheresis. It is a simple process that takes about four hours each session. Much like giving blood, your cells are spun and the good stem cells are extracted while the remainder of your blood is put back into your body. If the Neupogen has done a really good job you may only have to do this one day, but it usually takes at least two days and sometimes up to 5 days. Then you go home and rest for a week. You can eat normal again and have a little bit of a life.

During the above process I have to be very careful to stay healthy, hahahaha that is funny since I am battling cancer and not really healthy at the moment. But I have this beautiful mask I must wear anytime I go outside. It keeps all those little micro-organisms from invading my body and causing any little upset of the chemical process that is going on inside my veins.

A few more days of out patient chemotherapy and then you are admitted for the big guns. I am not ready for that day. I have several different emotions when I think about it. As I have said before, you go through enough chemo to feel like you want to die (so I have been told) and then it's transplant day. A process that will take about 10mins. Your life is still so scheduled at this point you don't have to think much, just work on getting better. Three to four weeks in the hospital and a few more weeks at home being very careful you don't get sick. I imagine it becomes another waiting game? Waiting for your scan to reflect you are healthy again, waiting for your lab results, waiting for your doctor to let you return to work, waiting for . . . . what?


I am in the beginning of my stem cell journey and I will not lie, I cry A LOT. I pretend I am OK most of the time, but I'm mostly not. I do rest and I do all those things my long list tells me to do. I smile while getting chemo, I put on that happy face that helps my loved ones know that I will be OK.  But I just want this to be over and to enjoy my family and friends again. I would never wish this journey on anyone.