What a very very bad day. I felt yucky, was finally coming off the steroids and had my first really emotional day. Oh, did I cry like a baby about everything. I think the steroids had something to do with my crazy emotions.
Robert and I had a wonderful anniversary weekend planned for May 14th to Sonoma and Fort Bragg. With the good news of my stem cell transplant moving up, we had to cancel everything. This set me off. I had all kinds of emotions. Happy to begin stem cell earlier and terrified of stem cell. Upset we are going through all of this. Pissed that my husband has to be so stressed about everything. Mad that I can't contribute like I used to. Scared of the unknown. Angry that I am unable to visit my very very ill SIL and I may never get to see her again. So mad that I was depressed and crying all day.
I finally got dressed for the day before Robert came home. He has so much to deal with at work and home that I won't let him see me like this. I feed off of his strength without him knowing. I tell him I had a bad day, just leave out the details. Him being home somehow makes the majority of it go away.
I made an awesome spinach salad and he grilled some chicken. A few relaxing minutes on our patio with a beer helped everything be OK.
So today is Friday. I have paid bills and organized our budget a little better. Adjusting to one income for us takes a little bit of practice. I feel good and it is time to clean the house. Music is up loud and if I hurry I can start another fun project before everyone gets home.
Robert and Brytnee are going the Kings game as an early birthday for her. That leaves me with Brandon. My SIL Carol will come over tonight so that Brandon can become more acquainted with her. Bryt will need every extra babysitter she can find in the coming months. Nana will be quarantined.
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